Hedge trimming New Zealand style

Here we have the first attempt at mowing the hedge with the ride on mower.

A New Zealand hedge trimming company has struck a gold mine by diversifying their product into what they call ‘extreme clipping’. Usually just resorting to trimming hedges with a hedge trimmer the company was forced into desperate measures earlier this year when their only trimmer broke down. Their solution was to use a lawn mower on a crane to complete the hedge trimming. This become national news in New Zealand and quickly the company started offering a number of different services under the catch phrase ‘ extreme clippings’. While other companies have struggle through the economic downturn this company has tripled their turnover and reduced their lawnmower petrol bill by half.

The owners believe it is the adventurous nature of the new projects that get people excited. “People seems to live such mundane lives that this can give many people the thrill they require” John Smith the owner quoted (name changed due to impending law suit for failed job). After their first job they were then asked to trim a large oak tree with a helicopter and then a small garden hedge with motorbike.

Opposition to this new fad is obviously high. The Salvation Army have reported an increase in calls from people who have become addicted to ‘extreme clipping’ and many have invested their life savings into some crazy stunt. In one case a Chinese man attempted to shave his beard using blades attached to a ceiling fan, fortunately police arrived on the scene before he managed to flick the on switch.

Despite calls of disgust from a large number of organisations many people seem drawn to ‘extreme clipping’. One lady we talk to has already had her front hedge done with the ride on mower and next week is planning to have her legs shaved with her own lawnmower suspended from her caravan roof. She then wants her armpit hair removed using a 6 foot lathe and her ultimate goal is to have her nose hair removed with the propeller of a cesna plane.

So far the New Zealand company can offer a range of impressive options to suit whatever their client wants. It is a real case of the company meeting the consumer. The two most popular services the company offers are the ‘Van Gogh’ where your ear hair is removed using an orbital sander and the ‘stevie wonder’ where your eye lashes are trimmed using an electric bread knife ( incidentally it was this procedure that has bought about the impending lawsuit).

All in all this is one of the real success stories of the economic downturn and really we should all take our hats off to this company. While many have just stood by and watched their company’s collapse this group has found a niche market and look set to make their millions.




Posted on November 17, 2009, in HUMOUR MATTERS and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. A fantastic example of Kiwi ingenuity.

    It’s also a testament to New Zealand’s Local Councils that a parking meter had been installed up there within a week, with fees being calculated at a rate of $2 per metre above ground level.

  2. I would like to see how they cut the side of the hedge… now that would prove NZ’s got talent!

    As for the Sallies, might be used as ‘grounds’ for another appeal… sound the ‘war cry’!

  3. This can be such a good website and some incredibly good articles. I am deeply impressed on how much effort you’ve put into this site. Maintain up the very good perform I’ll look over shoulder again later.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: