Best jokes in the World

The University of Hertfordshire recently concluded a research project to find the best jokes in the world. Here is the best in the world..

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. 

The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?

Not the best joke but can you do better


Posted on November 19, 2009, in HUMOUR MATTERS and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 30 Comments.

  1. Christopher Heien

    funny joke

    what do u call a man with no shins ?


    (my dad)

  2. dont drink and drive, you might spill some


  3. Why did the chicken cro WHAMMMM!!! never mind.

  4. knock
    interupting cow
    interuptin moooooooooo g cow

  5. there is a man and a presit in the car the man is driving then a vampie jumps out the man says to the presit show him your cross he winds the window down and says get off the road.

  6. Yo mama’s so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scales

  7. Yo’ mama so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample!

  8. q.why did the welia bin go to K.F.C
    a.beacause he was welia hungry

  9. so this blonde goes to a store and says “can i get that tv” the manager say “no mam we don’t sell to blondes”. so the blonde goes back home and dies her hair red. then she goes to the store and askes for the t.v the manager say “no mam we dont sell to blondes”. then she goes home again and dies her hair brown. she goes back and asks again for the t.v. the manager again says “no mam we don’t sell to blondes”. she goes home one last time and shaves her hair off. she returns to the store for the last time and says “can i buy that t.v.” the manager say “no mam we don’t sell to blondes”. then the blonde says: “i’ve asked for the t.v as a blonde then i died it red, went home and died it brown, you still said no so i shaved all my hair off! why can’t i have that t.v” well the manager says: ” bacause we don’t sell to blondes for one and for two that is a microwave mam

  10. Daniel Lagerberg

    a Peice of string walked into a bar and asked
    could i please have a beer, the bar tender said
    no I dont serve peices of string so the peice
    string walked out side and tied himself in a
    knot and ruffled up his hair and walked back
    in and asked again he said arnt you the peice
    of string of string that came in before the peice
    of string said no im a freighed knot!!!

  11. Yo mama’s so stupid she sold her car to buy petrol

  12. Doctor, Doctor! I’m going to die in 51 seconds!”
    “I will be with you in a minute!”

  13. your mamma is so stupid she got hit by a parked car

    .your mamma’s armpits are so hairy it looks like she has bob marley in a headlock

  14. what state of americ do people have small drinks


  15. your mamma is so stupid she got hit by a parked car.

    .your mamma’s armpits are so hairy it looks like she has bob marley in a headlock.

  16. the alblack selecters

  17. where do people like to be texded


  18. Daniel Lagerberg

    doctor docter i feel like a pack of card docter replies im just a docter go see the phsycyertrist he will deal with you

  19. I made all mien up my self

  20. Q: A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

    A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

  21. And the winner is………. The Janater.

    The jokes may not have been the best but he made them up himself!!!!

  22. what do yoy call a giy with a small dick

    riched small

  23. So this is what you do at school all day Mr Mandias!!!!!!!!!!

  24. your mammas so hairy the only landguege she speaks is wookie roar

  25. There’s a room full of Naked Clowns, how do you know which one is Ronald McDonald?

    He’s the one with the sesame seed buns!

  26. your mamma is so dumb that she tried to drown a fish.

    your mamma is so dumb she tried to throw a bird of of a cliff

  27. There are three types of people in the world:
    1. Those who can count.
    2. And those who can’t.

  28. (This is what I said one day)

    “Hey, dad, look up! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No! It’s… Oh, no, wait. Yeah, it’s a bird.”

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