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More time practising football and less time acting, I suggest.



Irish referee Allain Rolland has apologised to the Welsh team after failing to enforce the ‘he’s a nice guy’ clause in the IRB rule book. Rolland caused an international rugby storm when he sent of Welsh captain Warburton just 17 minutes into the game for an illegal tackle which saw him raise the opposition player’s legs above the shoulders.

Ordinarily this offense is an automatic red card, but Rolland forgot to take into account that Warberton is a nice guy and nobody likes this French team. Many people believe this event caused Wales to loose the game despite them missing numerous shots at goal, that most Welsh 65 year old women could have slotted.

Speaking after the game Roland had this to say, ” I’m am sorry to all Welsh players and supporters with my decision. I forgot that there is a ‘nice guy’ clause in the IRB rulebook and ultimately I believe this decision cost the Welsh team. I understand now that if it was a French player who did that I could have sent them off, because they are thugs and can’t play rugby. In future I will remember that there are different rules for different players and in different games.

Sam Warburton also spoke to Ozy Mandias after the game and had this to say about the Welsh referee.

“I just cant understand it. In Wales I can break the law all I like and get away with it. Only the other day I was doing 120mph on the motor way and I got pulled over by the police. Thankfully, he knew who I was and knows I am a good guy and my actions weren’t malicious so I got let off. That is the way Sam Warburton rolls.

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France has unsurprisingly made a number of surprise selections for their Group A clash with the All Blacks this Saturday evening.

First-five Francois Trinh-Duc has been dropped and replaced by scrumhalf Morgan Parra having never started at 10 before in his career. Flanker Thierry Dusautoir returns as captain, hooker Dimitri Szarzewski plays his first match of the tournament, and Dimitri Yachvili comes in at halfback having previously started all his games as the water boy.

French coach Marc Lievremont was honest in his selection decisions.

“The secret to beat the Blacks is surprise. If we don’t know what we are doing, how on earth are they going to know what we are doing? This morning at our team selection raffle, we put all the names into a barrel and picked out players for positions. It worked a treat. The All Blacks won’t know what has hit them.”

The last time the selection raffle was used was the famous RWC 2007 Quarter Final victory against the All Blacks. On that day 13 of the team were playing out of position and even the team doctor ended up on the run on team.
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HENRY SAYS "watch those WAGS"

In a bid to leave no stone unturned this Rugby World Cup it has been reported that All Black coach Graham Henry has ordered his coaching team to analyse opposition partners and wives.

This revelation comes as the WAGS (wives and girlfriends) of international players start arriving on our shores for the Rugby World Cup tournament.

Insiders say that Henry has even developed a complex analysis system which includes categories such as blondeness, brain power and even a detailed system for ranking their ability to distract their partner before a big game.

Apparently Dan Carter is furious at Henry for his poor estimation of his partner Honor Dillion but Henry insists he was right to dock her marks for failing to be in the media every 3 days and “worrying signs of independence of thought and action”.

A spokesman for Henry was keen to play down any talks of a rift in the All Black camp with this rather desperate attempt to gain an upper hand on the opposition.

“Nobody has said anything to Graham and most of the players are completely behind him,” captain Richie said. “They understand Henry’s incessant child-like need to reduce complex issues into easily organised numbers and tables.”

Another person who is also irate at the rankings is Australian Stephanie Rice who is currently dating Quade Cooper. She has come out on top of the Australian WAGS with the highest score and therefore the person with the most ability to disrupt the wallabies. However, a leaked document to Ozy Mandias Warning has apparently found that even she couldn’t compete with ‘twitter’ and a ‘mirror’ as items that Henry believes will be more of an undoing for the Aussie team than any with or girlfriend.

Highlanders jersey

Jimmy Cowen shows off the new Highlanders jersey before


A new dance is taking the world by storm and it has been invented by German tennis star Andrea Petkovic. Usually known for starting wars and high quality automobiles, it is a strange that such exuberance could come from such a conservative race of people. But Petkovic is not your normal German.

After defeating  Maria Sharapova in the Aussie Open 4th round she even joked with the commentators and smiled. In the interview she explained how her recent ranking rise in the world of women’s tennis, coincided with her victory dance. This dance, known as the Petkovic Jive is now famous.


The Ashes Urn

With the Ashes coming to the end it is time to have a look at some of the classic TV ads that have been used to promote this fantastic sporting event. There are some real classics from earlier Ashes clashes and it seems that Warnie and Botham are the main two characters. There are six videos in all so watch them all.

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Pakistan Cricket have announced a new shirt sponsor for their upcoming tour of New Zealand. Speaking at an official press conference last week the Pakistan Cricket chairman, Ivabin of Dosh, named the TAB as the new shirt sponsor. This comes after months of close contact between the two parties as thay have attempted to broker a deal to keep both the Pakistan Cricket Fund and the TAB afloat.

“Pakistan Cricket is over the moon with this new arrangement and we hope for many profitable years ahead. Most of our team is comfortable down at the local TAB so I see this as a real positive move for both the TAB and Pakistan Cricket.”

People close to both sides say that this new combination was a win-win for both parties. The Pakistan team can know work closely with long time rivals the  TAB to rig every cricket match they pay play in to maximise the revenue for both parties. Working together will enable them to rig the odds to astronomical proportions, while providing cricket with some of the strangest results every.

Critics have pointed this may lead to some strange cricket results in the coming months, especially in New Zealand. Some results likely to show that Pakistan and the TAB are working together

– The Black Caps winning 3 games in a row.

– Kylie Mills bowls a maiden over.

– Pakistan dismissed for 18


Today is the 2nd of September.  Whenever New Zealanders recall our nation’s great sporting deeds, the events of September 2, 1960, will always occupy a prominent place.

That was the day of the “Golden Hour” when Sir Peter Snell and Sir Murray Halberg indelibly inked the country’s name on the Rome Olympic Games canvas. so today sit back, relax and watch Snell at his best. Seemingly boxed in on the final corner he powers home to win his first gold medal. Incidentally, his world record time that he set in 1962 in Christchurch on a grass track in bare feet would have won him the gold medal in Beijing.

For a great article – click here – or watch the video below