Category Archives: WORLD SPORTS

NEW LOGO FOR LONDON OLYMPICS


Organisers of the London Olympics have decided to make a late change to their plans and change their logo. In a surprising news Sebastian Coe has decided that a change of logo is need to really capture the essence of London. Speaking at a corporate lunch earlier today Coe talked about the new logo.
“We felt the old logo didn’t really capture the feeling of London. I can say proudly that this new logo really seems up the people of London at this time.”
Apparently, people at the lunch were excited about the new logo, the only dampener being that all of the chairs for the function had been stolen earlier in the day by a group of young thieves.
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BREAK UP KING – TIGER SNUBS WILLIAMS


Tiger Woods has ditched long time caddy Steve Williams making it his second major break up in the last 2 years.

Tiger announced the move on his website earlier today and the Kiwi caddy is far from happy, although apparently he felt things had been moving that way for a long time.

Speaking exclusively to Ozy Mandias Warning Steve Williams had this to say;

“I knew from a couple of months ago that things weren’t right between us. In fact ever since he broke up with his wife things have been difficult between us.

I would just say an innocent comment like – ‘Tiger, put your wedge away mate, it is causing you too much trouble’ and he would assume I was talking about something else. The final straw a was  a couple of tournaments ago when I suggested on a tight fairway-ed 15th hole in Texas that he should ‘keep control of his balls’ that everything hit the fan.

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TOUR de FRANCE


Tonight the Tour de France starts. Very, very exciting. To get you in the mood here is a vidoe of the course

Here are the big guns in this year’s tour

MARATHON DES SABLES


On the 7th April 730 runners from around the world gathered at the small Moroccan town of Ait Saadane. There destination was a collection of 100 Berber tents 9km to the east, and the start of the 2006 Marathon Des Sables. In the midst of them was me, Shem Banbury, runner number 483, fulfilling a 15 month goal of completing the Marathon Des Sables.

Since its creation the Marathon des Sables has been a team or individual endurance race of around 220km. It is the world’s premier race of this type and proudly carries the tag as the world’s toughest footrace. The race is spread over 7 days and in 2006 was made up of 6 stages between 12 and 72 kilometres including one night stage.

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WOODS DROPS NIKE FOR NEW LOGO


Tiger Woods has dropped long time sponsors Nike and decided to invent his own label company it has been announced today. The move is seen as a surprise, especially after the last couple of years when Nike stood by the golfing superstar.

Apparently Woods had the idea for the new label while competing in the Omega Dubai Desert Classic over the weekend. Speaking after his final round, he said that the inspiration came on the 12th green when he was lining up a putt and he felt a lump in his throat. From then on it just came naturally.

At this stage it is unsure how the new logo will be taken, especially by the Arab countries. Many of these countries have strong views on some aspects of the logo and this may hurt Wood’s financial position as the year developed. Despite this early sales in Australia and the Wild West have been excellent, but both of these countries have a strong spitting culture.

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ANDY MURRAY v NOVAK DJOKOVIC


Welcome to live coverage of the Australian Open Mens Final between Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic. Both players have come through tough semi final encounters and both will be pushing hard to claim the Australian Open title. Will Murray become the first Brit to win a Grand Slam since Adam was on the ark or will Djokovic add to his 2008 victory in this tournament. CLICK HERE FOR LIVE COVERAGE
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WOMEN DISGUSTED AT NADAL'S AUSSIE OPEN EXIT


Thousands of women have left the Australian Open in disgust as Rafael Nadal crashed out of the Australian Tennis Open to Carlos Ferrer last night. Many of these women had bought tickets to watch the sweaty Spaniard hitting balls in 35 degree heat and they are obviously distraught after last night’s results.

Despite claiming to have a weak hamstring, Nadal was run ragged by Ferrer who seems to hit the corner of the court with ease throughout the match. This is the second successive year the women of Australia have been denied seeing their man in the Semi Finals, and it is starting to annoy some of the locals. A facebook page entitle ‘give Rafar a free ride to the semis’ has already been started with over 50,000 women members already. Many of these women were already annoyed at Nadal, who had worn a traditional tennis shirt this year, as opposed to his usual bicep enhancing muscle t-shirt he had worn in previous years.

New Zealand Tennis correspondent Rikki Swannell, a long time Rafar fan, was distraught at the latest results. Ozy Mandias Warning tried to contact the commentator, but she was not answer her calls this morning and was distinctly absent on twitter. Obviously part of the perk of an Aussie Open correspondent is being close to Nadal and being paid to look at him. With Nadal gone that means that all that is left for Swannell is a pasty white Scotsman, a greasy Spaniard and a boring Swiss man. Radio Sport is expecting a call this morning from Swannell advising them she is on her way home.
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LANCE ARMSTRONG DRUG TAKING PICTURES


Lance Armstrong has come out once again and denied using performance enhancing drugs after Sports Illustrated has attacked the star with new found evidence.  The on going saga that is Lance Armstrong and drugs use has been a constant source of media frenzy for almost a decade.

However, the pressure seems to be coming onto Armstrong as evidence mounts that he is a drugs cheat. Numerous friends and former employees have talked about finding strange items in his bathroom, such as toothpaste and Lynx spray.

this picture clearly shows that Lance Armstrong has been on the juice.

Added to this growing body of evidence is a graphic picture which paints the apparently clean Armstrong in a different light. A photograph from one of our exclusive reporters of Armstrong taking his bike to his hotel room following the Tour Down Under clearly show a body which has had more than its fair share of drugs pumped into it.

When asked about his unusually big biceps and rippling six pack Armstrong was outraged and later tweeted

“Just been accused by Ozy Mandias of taking drugs. Not my fault if my guns are bigger than Texas.”

In other news Lance Armstrong has sued movie star Ben Stiller for stealing his LiveStrong concept. See below for video.


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PETKOVIC DANCE


A new dance is taking the world by storm and it has been invented by German tennis star Andrea Petkovic. Usually known for starting wars and high quality automobiles, it is a strange that such exuberance could come from such a conservative race of people. But Petkovic is not your normal German.

After defeating  Maria Sharapova in the Aussie Open 4th round she even joked with the commentators and smiled. In the interview she explained how her recent ranking rise in the world of women’s tennis, coincided with her victory dance. This dance, known as the Petkovic Jive is now famous.

TODD WOODBRIDGE INTERVIEWS KIM CLIJSTERS


Men are terrible gossips. We already knew that, but it was nice nonetheless to see Kim Clijsters expose one of them in front of a national television audience yesterday.

Clijsters’ eyes lit up when she saw Todd Woodbridge wander on court to interview her for Channel Seven after her centre court win, then in the middle of their chat started up with some questions of her own.

”By the way. Rennae Stubbs showed me a text message that you wrote to her in Sydney, about me. You thought I was pregnant?” she inquired of a mortified Woodbridge, who had noted in the text that Clijsters ”looks really grumpy, and her boobs are bigger”.

He conceded afterwards that he had experienced his first-ever ”Shane Warne moment”.

Clijsters (who for the record isn’t expecting baby No2) found out about the message after a practice session on Wednesday.

”We were sitting around talking, laughing away. We were talking about babies, having a second one and all of a sudden she goes, ‘Yeah … Todd last week in Sydney wrote me a message during your match saying that he already thought you were pregnant’,” she laughed.

”I was like, ‘oh, really’ And then she showed me. So when I walked out there it’s like, ‘OK … I’m going to get him back now’.”

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