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What would it look like if Jesus was born today?


The Christmas Story.. and dont you forget it.

Didn’t intend on posting today but saw this video in Church today and thought it was good enough to share. When most of the world sees today as a holiday this video is a reminder of what should be our focus around this time of year.

Bra shopping with my two boys

I have just started my Christmas shopping for 2009. You will be pleased to know that I have not bought one thing, despite spending 3 hours in The Palms Mall in Christchurch. To many people this would be a concern. Not to me. I am a trained shopper, love the hustle and bustle of buying on the 24th and therefore still have plenty of time up my sleeve. That is not to say I haven’t tried buying my presents. Today, as I have said, I spent a number of hours in the mall, but unfortunately the shopping cards have not fallen kindly for me.

Without exaggerating shopping has been interesting to say the least. Firstly, I made the mistake of trying to buy lingerie for my wife. The mistake wasn’t so much in the buying of the gift the mistake was taking my two boys along with me. I don’t know if you have ever shopped for lingerie with your children but I can tell you if you are contemplating doing it tomorrow I suggest a change of plan. Initially things started well. I had gained the assistance of a shop worker and had narrowed my choice down to a lacy fluro green two piece or a silk petticoat. I was pleased with my good progress until, while I was weighing up my options with the helpful lady, a flying bra landed on the shop assistance’s head. Apparently my eldest son thought they looked similar to his army paratrooper and was trying to throw them onto the ceiling. Things didn’t get any better from then as my younger boy decided that an entire trolley stand full of Elle McPhersons D Cup Full Body Enhancer Bras would make an excellent cart to wheel around the store. He started his first lap well but attacked the second corner with too much speed and only quick intervention from me stopped the entire stand falling over. By this time every women in the store was looking at me so I made a quick exit.

Next up was a trip to the jewellery store. This was the most important stop in my well planned shopping excursion. Unfortunately the rest of Christchurch had decided to descend on Michael Hill Jewellery Store and the place was thieving throng of sweaty men and desperate women. Huddle in the front row were me and the two boys. I was concentrating on finding the perfect earrings for my wife. My two boys were busy concentrating on exicuting the perfect blowfish on the beautiful glass counter. I ignored the boys and thought I had found a nice little pair of dangling shark teeth which would be perfect for Mrs Mandias. Ignoring the boys turned out to not be the best option as my next glance revealed they had moved from the counter and were now licking the mirror at the far end of the shop like it is a giant lollipop. Another quick exit was needed.

By this stage I hadn’t actually purchased any item and I felt it was time for some refreshments. Buying food with kids is a nightmare and this was no exception. We purchased a drink each and a small muffin. After carrying one child in one hand, our tray of food in the other and chasing the final boy, we made our way to a small table in the corner of the food court. I hadn’t even looked at my hot chocolate, and was about to bite into my muffin, when the oldest boy announced

“Daddy I need to go to the toilet.”

“Can you hold on”, I asked.

“No daddy its almost there”

Moments like these are difficult for parents. Do I risk it all, have my drink and muffin in quiet, and hope the boy has exceptionally strong pelvis muscles. Or do I do the proper thing and leave my food unattended, take the boy to the toilet and hope that the people of Christchurch are honest and reliable. I can tell you now that my oldest son does have strong pelvic muscles, but unfortunately they are not strong enough. Needless to say this event ended my shopping trip with the boys.

Please don’t look upon this as a complete failure. Together we saw many sites, turned bras into paratroopers, licked mirrors like they were covered in ice-cream, spent three hours in the mall and wet our pants in the middle of the food hall. We didn’t buy one item for anyone but at least the muffin was fresh and the hot chocolate delicious.