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AUSSIE CRICKET TO SELECT TEST TEAM VIA TEXT MESSAGE


Cricket Australia has confirmed the selection for players in the upcoming boxing Day test match will done via public online text messaging. Following the success of selecting David ‘the Basher’ Warner as the Man of the Match in the last test match against New Zealand, Cricket Australia has extended the service to selecting teams.

Apparently the online voting will begin in the next couple of days and fans will have until the 19th December to log their vote. Some experts have announced their displeasure at the new move saying this new system could open Cricket Australia up to some interesting team dynamics. At this stage early polls would have to agree with this trend as most Australian cricket followers believe Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse would be better openers than the current pair.

Australian batsman Ricky Ponting seemed pleased about the new system when he spoke with Ozy Mandias Warning earlier today.
‘Personally I am wrapped with this new system. I already have the number preprogrammed into my phone and once the lines are open I will be texting faster than a teenage girl just to get more votes for me. I think it is an excellent move by Cricket Australia, after all we decide our government by election so why should we do the same with our cricket team. “

PONTING CALLS ALL AUSTRALIANS TO TRY RAIN DANCE


Ricky Ponting talks to media as he calls all Australians to join in his teams rain dance.

For the first time in his career Ricky Ponting called his team together to perform a rain dance in a bid to avoid defeat in a cricket match. The call was made by captain Ponting after Clark was dismissed in the final over of day four, effectively ending Australia’s hope of batting out for a draw on the final day of the 2nd Ashes Test. With the pitch turning square, and Australia’s fragile middle order now exposed, Ponting had no option but to call the team together for an impromtu rain dance at the close of play.

Speaking exclusively to Ozy Mandias Warning Ponting seemed upbeat about the chance of the dance working.

“Obviously, over the last year as our team form has slipped we have looked into the use of the rain dance as an effective game plan to avoid defeat. Simon Katich has done a lot of work looking into the different types of dances and their relative effec

tiveness. He even spent a little time with the Black Caps looking into the plans they have developed for their rain dances. Obviously we are little behind the Black Caps who initiate this thing in almost every test match, but we have made some good progress over the last few weeks.”

When questioned into what dance they had employed and the finer details Ponting was very tight lipped. However, Ozy Mandias Warning has managed to capture exclusive picture of Ponting dressed as an Indian leading the team in an intricate dance routine.