Blog Archives


David Mead’s incredible pick up and try vs the Sharks.

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Giant foodstuffs Maggi have stuck beside alcoholic rugby league player Todd Carney as he battles his career and the bottle. Infact the company have been so supportive that they have renamed their popular Chili Con Carne as Silli con Carney in reference to his truckload of silly decisions made by the superstar.

However, naming the product was only the start, they have since added to their secret recipe 10 table spoons full of beer in each recipe which the company believe will add a little authenticy to the product. As yet the product has not hit New Zealand shops but it is believed to be available in three weeks time.
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The Vodafone Warriors have apologised to fans for failing to realise the NRL season began yesterday against the Eels. Coach Ivan Cleary has called it a disgrace that his players failed to understand that yesterday’s game was the real thing and didn’t turned up until the 65th minute.

Cleary was unsure who to blame for such a obvious mistake but fingers will probably be pointed to the receptionist at Warriors HQ, whose job it is to put each game in on the wall planner. Apparently, sources close to the receptionist say that she outsourced this job to a young girl on work experience and that is where the mistake came. A full review of calendar processes is expected this week with a report to the Warriors Board by next Friday.

Speaking on behalf of the players, James Malony, said his team were disappointed with what happened today.
‘Forgetting the start of the season is inexcusable for a professional sportsperson. However, with the game being at Eden Park we though Ivan had just organised a kick about with a local team. Also with the refs being dressed in pink we though we thought it was something to do with breast cancer awareness week. Hopefully we wont make this mistake again next week.”
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Rugby League star Benji Marshall is on the hunt for a wing-man so he can hit the Sydney Streets every night with his Tiger buddies. This revelation comes after the Kiwi Captain was involved in an altercation the other evening when one punter took exception to the star being out after 11pm.

The idea of a wing-man has been popular for sometime amongst ‘average joes’, but is starting to become a reality for some big names in the world of NRL. As they seem to weekly implode whenever they are given a ‘night pass’ it is believed that a wing-man would keep them out of trouble.

For those interested in becoming a wing-man for Benji the role would be rather simple. Firstly, you have to keep the man out of trouble. Secondly you have to make sure that he only drinks fruit juice and finally you have to make sure he is home and in bed by 2am. As far as NRL wing-men go this is definitely one of the easier men to work for. NRL stars Braith Anasta and Todd Carney are also after wing-men but their instruction manual of dos and don’t is longer than the great wall of China and they are complete idiots, so your task would be nigh on impossible.

Expressions of interest for Benji’s wing-man will be accepted in the comment below. Please state your name and what you would bring to the position.
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Greg Inglis tries his hand at synchronized swimming as they are the only people that can afford him.

With no income and a high profile sporting lifestyle to live Greg Inglis is set to turn his back on league and take up synchronized swimming. It is believed that the high spending ASSS (Australian Synchronized Swimming School) has offered Inglis $34,500 per year for 7 years. At this stage that is the best offer on the table for the once high flying sportsman.

After the Melbourne Storm got rid of him and then the Brisbane Broncos couldn’t afford him it looked as if South’s would come to the rescue. But it turns out Souths have had to bring in 3rd party payments which effectively only leaves the synchronized swimming offer as the only option on the table.

Experts in the sport of synchronized swimming are excited about the prospect of the sports star getting into his swim suit and giving their sport a go. Many believe that his incredible leap and excellent handling skills will be most suited to the pairs section, although a partner has yet to be found. At this stage the big debate is if Inglis can actually swim. However, he has assured the ASSS that he is a God and can actually walk on water if that would help the routine.


Welcome to live blogging of the Rugby League International between the Kiwis and England.

Join us for in depth coverage of this clash.

Rugby V League

Welcome back to another Con Vie installment. For those unfamiliar with my posts each week I leave a question as a starter for conversation between readers. This weeks question;

What do you prefer, Rugby union or Rugby League?