Marriage is one of life’s turning points. The time when loved ones join together until death do them part. While marriage is one of life’s treasured sacraments, for some people even getting the engagement ring on the finger can be one of life’s personal marathons. I have a philosophy that life is what you make it. I have said before on this site; the people who do best in life are those that take the lemons life throws at them and make lemonade. Life is about perspective. Sadly though, despite my optimist ramblings, some people seem to struggle at certain times in their life. They effectively hit a road bump and seem unable to get over it. I have a certain family member in that position at the moment.
His particular road bump is his impending engagement. Without wanting to pick the point this particular ‘road bump turned into a tree blocking his path and after his phone call to me the other day it is clear he views his upcoming engagement as his personal Grand Canyon.
One of life’s difficulties for us all is feeling compassion for people when they are in situations we just breezed past. My own engagement was a joyous occasion and gave me the chance to apply my creative talent and develop something both meaningful and personal. Sadly in my brother’s case the creative cell in his brain has stopped functioning and he is looking over the edge of his engagement canyon wondering what to do. Fortunately I am a generous man and I will devote the rest of this precious blog into giving him some engagement tips.
Tip Number 1 – Everyone Feels Nervous
I know I have begun with a cliché but it is true. There isn’t a man around who wasn’t a little nervous before he went down on bended knee. For many men this results in a spluttering or words and sentences and really the whole things turns into a mess. The secret is to remember that your wife to be is just as nervous as you. Infact, if the truth be known, she is far more nervous than you will ever be and she only has to say one word, either yes or no.
That’s because this is a very important moment in her life and women tend to visualise these things more then men. A man doesn’t think about it until about a week before the event. On the other hand your lady has been visualising this moment since being in the womb. This has created years of pressure and anticipation built around this moment. Talk about nerves!!
Tip Number 2 – Balance
A simple internet search will give some rather impressive ideas on the marriage proposals. The secret, which I managed to perfection, is to do something romantic but not so romantic your mates start to look at your sideways. The perfect engagement plan needs balance – a little romance, a little excitement is exactly what the doctor ordered in this situation. I have heard of helicopter rides, moonlit horse treks, expensive meals and even men singing their proposals as part of the overall experience. These ideas are completely over the top and extravagant. They are proposals that smell of desperation rather than love. The secret is to start low and work your way up to a good idea. The people I mentioned above started high and then got carried away. Don’t be that silly.
Those are perhaps the two foundational rules for a successful proposal and if you follow those you can’t go wrong. I hope that those in this particular stage in life follow them and use my advice wisely..
Tip Number 3 – Poetry is a Winner
They say poetry is the language of love. They are wrong, unless of course you are talking about limericks. These are the only poems that I would suggest you use when proposing. They are simple to use and can be made up on the spot. Take this one for example which took me about 5 minutes to craft but captures everything that is needed. There is no copy right on this baby so feel free to use it if you want.
I carry a ring as I wander through the tree
And it is now that I come to you on bended knee
Despite the fact that you are Dutch
I love you very very much.
Jackie will you forsake all others and marry me